Office Observations

The Boss

No matter how good you are feeling or how accomplished you feel about a project.  The Boss always knows exactly how to rip the carpet out from under you and bring you back to the grime of daily living.

The Water Cooler

The watercooler is a lot like the trashcan, but in reverse. People let the trash pile up and pile up and avoid changing it. The watercooler is drained and drained, and people avoid changing it. CHANGE THE DAMN WATERCOOLER.

Don't Be Lazy

When entering into an office situation (i.e. agreeing to recieve a paycheck for working), it may be a good idea to actually perform such work during the day.  Complaining, surfing the internet and blank staring at your computer screen probably is a short term project which will likely lead to no paycheck at all.

It may also be a bad idea to piss off the people in your office that are actually trying to help you. They won’t be as agreeable to the laziness habit you’ve developed.

Deadlines are deadly

Deadlines are deadly because they are fictional. You cannot predict the future, and it is futile to try. If you work as hard as you can then there is nothing you can do to speed up the delivery. Deadlines make people feel like they are in control, but all they do is place undo stress on a team that is already working their butts off. 

conference call hell

THEY SUCK MORE THAN MONKEY BALLS IN AN AMAZONIAN RAINFOREST THAT HAS CAUGHT ON FIRE FROM RHINO DUNG EXPLOSION DUE TO ABORIGINAL MALFEASANCE BROUGHT ON BY A NITRO GLYCERIN FACTORY LEAK.